OUR ELUSIVE CULTURE

For so long now, I've been intrigued by the demand that if people don't accept our culture they can leave. Some seem to have that arrow launched at them for merely voicing a differing opinion.  

I've struggled to crystallize exactly what that culture that we so cherish really is. And whether we have some romantic notion, that in reality, it is simply a romantic notion framed by our view of what the culture is or should be. 

The events of the past week and treatment doled out to some people prompted me to ask myself the question yet again what exactly is that elusive Aussie culture. I know we have a list that is published on the government website, but that is really the Australia of today.  

For what it is worth, this is what I cherish and value in culture. 

I cherish a culture where everyone is treated fairly and equally. Where I am free to live my life the way I chose; implying, of course, adherence to laws both judicial and social. Where I am free to follow my beliefs and to express those beliefs in a respectful way. Where I can debate and discuss my beliefs with others in a calm, reasoned way, and whilst we may not agree we can respect each other's opinion albeit they differ. 

I cherish a culture where my worthiness is assessed by my actions, my deeds and what I contribute to society, and not by what who I am, what I believe. 

I cherish a culture that is optimistic, motivating, success driven, tolerant, innovative, creative, respectful and outward looking. 

I cherish a culture where people are free to declare their allegiance to a religion or to a political point of view without being abused, and bullied and treated like pariahs. 

I cherish a culture where people are free to dress the way they chose as an expression of who they are and what they believe without being spat at and attacked. That once again implies adherence to laws; both judicial and social. 

I cherish a culture where people help each other regardless of colour, ethnicity, religion, politics and anything in this screwed up world that divides us.  

I cherish a culture where people are judged by their actions and not found guilty based on perception, circumstantial gossip or perceived future crimes. 

I cherish a culture where people don't abuse and rip off the system and where they contribute to society. 

I cherish a culture where it's OK to be angry, but where that anger is expressed in a responsible why. 

I cherish a culture where people; women, men and children are not battered in their homes. The numbers in this country are shameful and frightening. 

I cherish a culture where law breakers receive appropriate sentences. And where, those who atone for their crimes, reform and go on to make a valuable contribution to our society are not lampooned for the rest of their lives. 

I cherish a culture where people are convicted by association or hung, drawn and quartered by the media. 

I cherish a culture where people are given a fair go to prove themselves and not written before they get off the launch pad. 

I cherish a culture where people don't shove their personal values down the throats of others. For often those who quote values as an attack tool often demonstrate scant adherence to any values. 

I cherish a culture that respects our history, our country, our flag and our rights, whether you were born here or not. 

I cherish a culture who cares for and nurture animals and our environment and where abuse is treated accordingly. 

Lastly, I cherish a culture where people embrace the concept of free speech, but understand that carries with it a personal responsibility. 

That paints a picture of the culture I cherish, but sadly, it's one that is slipping from our grasp. For so long now, I've been intrigued by the demand that if people don't accept our culture they can leave. Some seem to have that arrow launched at them for merely voicing a differing opinion.  

I've struggled to crystallize exactly what that culture that we so cherish really is. And whether we have some romantic notion of what our culture is, but in reality it is simply a romantic notion. The events of the past week and treatment doled out to some via social media prompted me to ask myself the question yet again what exactly is that elusive Aussie culture. I know we have a list that is published on the government website, but that is really what we have. 

So let me share for what it is worth, what I cherish. 

I cherish a culture where everyone is treated fairly and equally. Where I am free to live my life the way I chose; implying, of course, adherence to laws both judicial, moral and social. Where I am free to follow my beliefs and to express those beliefs in a respectful way. Where I can debate and discuss my beliefs with others in a calm, reasoned way, and whilst we may not agree we can respect each other's opinion albeit they differ. 

I cherish a culture where people are free to declare their allegiance to a religion or to a political point of view without being abused, and bullied and treated like pariahs. 

I cherish a culture where people are free to dress the way they chose as an expression of who they are and what they believe without being spat at and attacked. That once again implies adherence to laws; both judicial and social. 

I cherish a culture where people help each other regardless of colour, ethnicity, religion, politics and anything in this screwed up world that divides us.  

I cherish a culture where people are judged by their actions and not found guilty based on perception, circumstantial gossip or perceived future crimes. 

I cherish a culture where people don't abuse and rip off the system and where they contribute to society. 

I cherish a culture where it's OK to be angry, but where that anger is expressed in a responsible why. 

I cherish a culture where people; women, men and children are not battered in their homes. The numbers in this country are shameful and frightening. 

I cherish a culture where law breakers receive appropriate sentences. And where, those who atone for their crimes, reform and go on to make a valuable contribution to our society are not lampooned for the rest of their lives. 

I cherish a culture where people are not convicted by association or hung, drawn and quartered by the media based on agendas. 

I cherish a culture where people are given a fair go to prove themselves and not written before they get off the launch pad. 

I cherish a culture where people don't shove their personal values down the throats of others in an attempt to blacken someone for holding a differ view. For often those who quote values as an attack tool demonstrate scant adherence to any values in doing so. 

I cherish a culture that respects our history, our country, our flag and our rights, whether you were born here or not. 

I cherish a culture who cares for and nurture animals and our environment and where abuse is treated accordingly. 

Lastly, I cherish a culture where people embrace the concept of free speech, but understand that carries with it a personal responsibility. 

That paints a picture of the culture I cherish, but sadly, it's one that is slipping from our grasp. 

The Power of a Positive Attitude

I spend a reasonable amount of time on social media and one of the things that strikes me is, how negative and angry some people are. 

In following some of these people, I've noticed that over time, their level of negativity increases and their ability to see the positives, in any given situation (or in life in general) is diminishing. As a firm believer in attitude is everything, I will always endeavour to focus the debate on the side of balance. Understand the negatives, but leverage and build on the positives, is a good policy. I will admit to some interesting exchanges. At times, I've been forced to wish some people well and say goodbye. Their negativity was starting to negatively impact me. 

In my early career, I had the very good fortune to work for an American company, whose foundation was built on a positive mental attitude. I had exposure to many highly motivated and successful people. It made a lasting impression and enhanced brilliantly the core values that I learnt from my parents. 

Now I'm not suggesting I'm Miss Jolly everyday. I'm not. But I recognise my own signs, I warn others that I'm in a down mood, then I try to bring myself out of the gloom. It usually works. There are exceptions. 

If the whole environment in which you work is black and repressive, no matter what you do, you will be pulled down with it. At that point, get out and run as fast as you can. I learnt to my own detriment that to battle against the tide of negativity, only leads to your own self destruction. It took me months to recover after I got out of a 'black' environment. It took months of working on myself to rebuild my confidence, get my health back and to learn to refocus on the positives. I'm back from the brink, I will never make the same mistake again, and now I really enjoy helping others to avoid the same pitfalls. 

I will tell you a funny true story about motivation. I awoke one Monday morning with a feeling of impending doom. The previous week had been stressful and I simply wasn't looking forward to another week of more of the same. I literally had to drag myself out of bed. I did the necessary and headed for the train, the dark weight ever increasing as I walked. 

The train arrived, I found a seat and sat down. And, as I was sitting there thinking about the week ahead trying to gee myself up, I remembered a little song the sales trainees were taught. It went:

I feel happy, happy and terrific,

Happy and terrific that's the way I feel, 

Happy as a million dollar bill. 

Repeat, repeat. 

I started to sing the song in my head. I could feel the darkness lifting and I could feel there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I smiled to myself. I arrived at my destination, got off the train and was walking down to my office. I noticed people were smiling at me. Most unusual for a Monday morning in the 'big city'. I smiled back and then the penny dropped. I was singing the ditty out loud! All I could do was laugh at myself. I arrived at my office, told the story much to the mirth of my team. But the important thing was, my mood change and in fact we had a terrific week. My attitude had a lot to do with it. 

I sing that little song frequently. It never fails and I always remember when I sang out loud on the streets in Nth Sydney.   

We have so much to be thankful for. We have freedom, we live in a beautiful country we are surrounded by stunning landscapes and we have music to stir our souls. Our opportunities to be successful, happy and fulfilled are endless. But if we wake each morning with the wrong attitude, we fail to recognise the opportunities and we just bring everyone around us down. As an aside, I really worry for the children who are raised in negative environments. It has nothing to do with wealth, but it has everything to do with what we hear and what we see, particularly during our formative years. In closing, I'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes. 

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative."

~ W. Clement Stone 

Thought for the Day - Attitude

Thought for the Day: The Humble Leader

Thought for the Day

For Every Adversity (or Failure)

Like so many outcomes, solutions and results driven people, I sometimes struggle with accepting failure. The lesson is really challenging when the failure results in the death of others, as was the case recently with the execution of two Australian citizens in Indonesia.

I have been a vocal activist against the death penalty for many years. Although I accept that many support it. However, the point of this piece,  isn’t about the death penalty, I mentioned it merely to provide context. The point is about discovery and finding the positives from failure.

My recent experience taught me a valuable lesson. And that is, in observing us; how we address objections to our case and how we frame our arguments, we often unknowingly have a positive influence on others. Whilst we might have failed in our initial objectives, we may just have achieved something else that is positive.

When Indonesia announced their plans to proceed with executions, I (like so many others)  felt like I had let a lot of people down. I felt like a complete failure. I  shared this with a group of friends on social media. I was blown away to receive a private message from one of my friends. It reads:

“If I may Kate, can I just say that you and all those who tried, didn't fail one bit. You've opened more eyes to really think about life, repentance, service, forgiveness and caring. At least, that's my takeaway as someone who didn't really pay attention in the beginning. Bless you and all those people, Kate.”

In a world, that is so often cold and unforgiving, to have influenced others to think and to be more forgiving themselves and to show compassion and caring for others is wonderful. I am grateful to my friend for sharing his lessons with me. Next time, I'll do more to find the positives. The following is indeed true.

“For every adversity, there is the seed of equivalent or greater benefit” …

Judgement

 

When I saw this,  it reminded me of a story about my mother and judging people.

 

 

 

I have always had a very keen interest in religion. It stems from an inquiring mind and wanting to understand people, their beliefs and therefore their foundations. I believe this is very important, particularly if you are engaging with and working with people in different countries and from different backgrounds and different cultures.

 

 

Places of worship (doesn’t really matter what your personal beliefs are) are also great places to visit if you are looking for some peace and reflection time. Although I must confess, there have been some churches and cathedrals I visited (in Spain as example) were I felt very uncomfortable. The spirits of the bloody past were definitely still hanging around.

 

There are two locations in and around Sydney which I believe are ideal places to just visit and contemplate; the Buddhist temple near Wollongong and the other location is, the Baha’i, Ingleside.

 

Some years back, I was discussing these places with my mother. She mentioned she had never visited the Baha’i temple so I agreed to take her there. When we are arrived the place was deserted; peaceful and calm.  We wandered around the building and then proceeded to go inside. I was deeply engrossed in thinking and admiring the architecture and hadn’t noticed my mother had left the building. I went outside to find her deep in conversation with two bikies.  They were the typical bikie stereotypes; Harley’s, leather riding gear and tats. Bikies have always fascinated me. I think this is because they are so far removed from my life. By the same token, they also scare me. So I was somewhat alarmed to see my mother talking with two of them. Mum looked up, sighted me and bid farewell to the two guys.

 

As we drove off, I launched into the typical daughter chastising a ‘naughty’ child routine. Mum was silent for a minute and then she said “Just a minute young lady, I am your mother, I don’t need a ticking off from you, thank you.” She went on and asked what I knew about the two men. Naturally my answer was nothing.  She then proceeded to tell me what happened.

 

She had left the temple and was enjoying the peace and quiet in the fresh air. Up rode the two bikies. They got off their bikes and walked over to her and said “Isn’t this lovely place”.  They then proceeded to share with my mum that they had been collecting toys for underprivileged kids and were lamenting how tough it is for kids like that. They stopped by the temple to recharge and then they were off to do some work with a kid’s shelter. At this point I felt a bit embarrassed. My parents had always taught me and brother and sister not to judge others. Most importantly, to take the time to get to know someone, before you form your opinion of them.  I deliberately didn’t just the word judgement. I’m not sure anymore that we have the right to judge others. It sounds so very superior.

 

I was very quick to ‘judge’ the bikies by their bike, their leathers and their tats. It turns out the two men in question weren’t members of a gang; they were simply two guys who like riding bikes and helping others.  The messages my mum left me were these:

 

• Don’t be so quick to jump to conclusions based on what you see and not what you hear
• Take time to get to know someone
• The guy in the gutter might not be a wino or a tramp, he may just be someone who has fallen on hard times and isn’t coping so well
• Form your opinions on individuals not collectives of people
• Observe and trust your gut instinct

 

Not a bad list.