A Race To The End

I’ve always searched for lovely images, quotes and lyrics, but since Richard passed away I find myself searching for more. Perhaps it's a quest to find meaning. That I don’t really know, I’m just guessing. But, I have always found that things present themselves just when you need them most. So it is with this.

I have always loved the soundtrack from the Chariots of Fire. Whilst searching for this I stumbled across Russell Watson singing the lyrics to the most famous piece from the movie score. It's called “Race To The End”. Given the circumstances surrounding Richards passing the words seemed fitting. So here they are along with the YouTube link to Russell Watson singing it. I think it's beautiful. Like some many inspiring pieces it touches my soul. The rest I’ll leave to your imagination. I hope you enjoy it.

Race To The End

There is but one freedom
Man running along
Each step that he's taking
A step to his soul
The passion and courage
It takes to be there
The spirit of freedom
Alive in the air
Whenever the running man awakes
To challenge to glory
He knows he can turn the key once more
To unlock the soul

The way becomes clearer
The way is complete
The need, that of winning
Admit no defeat
The circles together
Hold hands to the sky
The freedom of running
The freedom to fly

Whenever the running man awakes
To challenge to glory
He knows he can turn the key once more
To unlock the soul

Let no man surround himself with pain
But use it to free him
The game is to learn to live again
To try to the end
A race to the end
A race to the end
A race to the end

The Ladybird and the Daisy

I have always believed that when our loved ones depart this earth, they find a way to send us a sign. In essence, to bring us comfort when we need it, to let us know they are OK and to let us know we are not alone. We just have to be receptive to receive those messages. I have many personal examples of signs, including one that involved my darling cat Winston. 

So to the story of the Ladybird and the Daisy

Whenever I gave Richard a pressie I would stick a little wooden Ladybird on the card envelope. I love Ladybirds and they go so well with the free form flower I always draw to go with it. A few days before Richard passed away, I found one the Ladybirds inside a kitchen cupboard. I stuck it on a cupboard door. A couple of days after Richard died I noticed the Ladybird was on the bench top below. I stuck it back onto the door, it stayed there all day, but next morning it was on the bench top again. This scenario went on for some days. I would stick the Ladybird back onto the door and I’d check it was still there before I went to bed. In the morning there it would be, on the bench top. 

The light goes on, put it inside the cupboard to test. Strike me down next morning it was on the bench top. I gave up and it's lived on the bench top since. I shared this story with people who know Richard and their comments have all been, that is so typical of Richard. It is indeed. 

This past week has been an exceptionally trying week for me. As I understand more about the seven stages of grief, I understand I have moved into the depression, reflection, loneliness stage. One of the downsides of living in my head is, I have to analyse everything to death and to find meaning. For someone who is always so in control of their life and usually their emotions many of the emotions and the inability to control them that this stage brings is a challenge. The endless ‘but why’ questions drive me insane and the feeling of foreboding that the black clouds will never lift are just horrible. But the universe has a habit of bringing help when you least expect it. 

I had visitors for morning tea yesterday. I don’t mind admitting I was feeling anxious. Not because of who was coming, because they all mean a great deal to me and I was so looking forward to catching up. It was because of me. The mere mention of Richard’s name this past week would render me into uncontrollable weeping. There is nothing worse than a soggy cupcake. 

This is where the Ladybird and the daisy connection comes in again. I heard my visitors coming down my driveway and went out to meet them. I am greeted by a dear little poppet holding out a this lovely bunch of flowers. 

They couldn’t have been more perfect; so very Kate colours; soft pastels. Stuck to one of the flowers - a little wooden Ladybird. Even more delightful was the fact that it was stuck to a daisy which is my favourite flower. I felt my dark clouds lifting. I had the most enjoyable couple hours and not a soggy cupcake or Macaron in sight. 

I am usually very open to receiving messages, but the past couple of weeks there has been nothing and I think that is what has led to me hitting the wall. It wasn’t until this morning that the penny dropped that there has been a sign there all along. A single daisy flower in my front garden. It never registered with me until I started to pen this piece this morning. Just to prove I’m not completely bonkers here is a pic. It's on its last legs now, but it has been there for about two weeks. Just one flower. 

I can hear Richard’s laugh as he whispers  “For heaven's sake open your eyes you ‘daft apeth’.” In case you are wondering what a ‘daft apeth’ is, it’s a northern England equivalent of the term Muppet. It's often used by the Brits as a term of endearment when a loved does something wrong or is slow on the uptake. Richard always used it and I in turn would call him a twit.

My beautiful flowers will eventually wither and die, but the little Ladybird will stay as a reminder that regardless of how bleak the world looks, if we ask for help, or for a sign and if we have enough faith we will receive it. Mind you, the messenger will not always be as cute as yesterday, but there will be one. I just have to keep my eyes open. 

Memories

It’s the little things that cause the pain.

• Opening the fridge and seeing his packets of chocolate biscuits. He so loved his chocolate biscuits. His one major food weakness. 
• Collecting the mail and picking up letters addressed to him. 
• Opening the cupboards and seeing his clothing. 
• The thought of taking down our beautiful Christmas Tree that we both decorated only 4 weeks ago. How excited he was then looking forward to our family gathering. 
• Watching programs he recorded and knowing he was here then. 
• Seeing his glasses case sitting on the kitchen bench, just where he left them 3-weeks ago  tomorrow. 

In time, it will become less painful, but for now I’m surrounded by memories, just as if he is still here. But he isn’t.

Writing about it helps, but it won’t fix it. Nothing will.

When We Lose Someone Unexpectedly

Losing someone suddenly is difficult which I have very recently discovered. Learning to live with it, despite the support and loving care received is something that only I can do for myself. 

The road ahead will be difficult, but I find solace in writing and reflection. Sharing might also bring comfort to others. 

OUR ELUSIVE CULTURE

For so long now, I've been intrigued by the demand that if people don't accept our culture they can leave. Some seem to have that arrow launched at them for merely voicing a differing opinion.  

I've struggled to crystallize exactly what that culture that we so cherish really is. And whether we have some romantic notion, that in reality, it is simply a romantic notion framed by our view of what the culture is or should be. 

The events of the past week and treatment doled out to some people prompted me to ask myself the question yet again what exactly is that elusive Aussie culture. I know we have a list that is published on the government website, but that is really the Australia of today.  

For what it is worth, this is what I cherish and value in culture. 

I cherish a culture where everyone is treated fairly and equally. Where I am free to live my life the way I chose; implying, of course, adherence to laws both judicial and social. Where I am free to follow my beliefs and to express those beliefs in a respectful way. Where I can debate and discuss my beliefs with others in a calm, reasoned way, and whilst we may not agree we can respect each other's opinion albeit they differ. 

I cherish a culture where my worthiness is assessed by my actions, my deeds and what I contribute to society, and not by what who I am, what I believe. 

I cherish a culture that is optimistic, motivating, success driven, tolerant, innovative, creative, respectful and outward looking. 

I cherish a culture where people are free to declare their allegiance to a religion or to a political point of view without being abused, and bullied and treated like pariahs. 

I cherish a culture where people are free to dress the way they chose as an expression of who they are and what they believe without being spat at and attacked. That once again implies adherence to laws; both judicial and social. 

I cherish a culture where people help each other regardless of colour, ethnicity, religion, politics and anything in this screwed up world that divides us.  

I cherish a culture where people are judged by their actions and not found guilty based on perception, circumstantial gossip or perceived future crimes. 

I cherish a culture where people don't abuse and rip off the system and where they contribute to society. 

I cherish a culture where it's OK to be angry, but where that anger is expressed in a responsible why. 

I cherish a culture where people; women, men and children are not battered in their homes. The numbers in this country are shameful and frightening. 

I cherish a culture where law breakers receive appropriate sentences. And where, those who atone for their crimes, reform and go on to make a valuable contribution to our society are not lampooned for the rest of their lives. 

I cherish a culture where people are convicted by association or hung, drawn and quartered by the media. 

I cherish a culture where people are given a fair go to prove themselves and not written before they get off the launch pad. 

I cherish a culture where people don't shove their personal values down the throats of others. For often those who quote values as an attack tool often demonstrate scant adherence to any values. 

I cherish a culture that respects our history, our country, our flag and our rights, whether you were born here or not. 

I cherish a culture who cares for and nurture animals and our environment and where abuse is treated accordingly. 

Lastly, I cherish a culture where people embrace the concept of free speech, but understand that carries with it a personal responsibility. 

That paints a picture of the culture I cherish, but sadly, it's one that is slipping from our grasp. For so long now, I've been intrigued by the demand that if people don't accept our culture they can leave. Some seem to have that arrow launched at them for merely voicing a differing opinion.  

I've struggled to crystallize exactly what that culture that we so cherish really is. And whether we have some romantic notion of what our culture is, but in reality it is simply a romantic notion. The events of the past week and treatment doled out to some via social media prompted me to ask myself the question yet again what exactly is that elusive Aussie culture. I know we have a list that is published on the government website, but that is really what we have. 

So let me share for what it is worth, what I cherish. 

I cherish a culture where everyone is treated fairly and equally. Where I am free to live my life the way I chose; implying, of course, adherence to laws both judicial, moral and social. Where I am free to follow my beliefs and to express those beliefs in a respectful way. Where I can debate and discuss my beliefs with others in a calm, reasoned way, and whilst we may not agree we can respect each other's opinion albeit they differ. 

I cherish a culture where people are free to declare their allegiance to a religion or to a political point of view without being abused, and bullied and treated like pariahs. 

I cherish a culture where people are free to dress the way they chose as an expression of who they are and what they believe without being spat at and attacked. That once again implies adherence to laws; both judicial and social. 

I cherish a culture where people help each other regardless of colour, ethnicity, religion, politics and anything in this screwed up world that divides us.  

I cherish a culture where people are judged by their actions and not found guilty based on perception, circumstantial gossip or perceived future crimes. 

I cherish a culture where people don't abuse and rip off the system and where they contribute to society. 

I cherish a culture where it's OK to be angry, but where that anger is expressed in a responsible why. 

I cherish a culture where people; women, men and children are not battered in their homes. The numbers in this country are shameful and frightening. 

I cherish a culture where law breakers receive appropriate sentences. And where, those who atone for their crimes, reform and go on to make a valuable contribution to our society are not lampooned for the rest of their lives. 

I cherish a culture where people are not convicted by association or hung, drawn and quartered by the media based on agendas. 

I cherish a culture where people are given a fair go to prove themselves and not written before they get off the launch pad. 

I cherish a culture where people don't shove their personal values down the throats of others in an attempt to blacken someone for holding a differ view. For often those who quote values as an attack tool demonstrate scant adherence to any values in doing so. 

I cherish a culture that respects our history, our country, our flag and our rights, whether you were born here or not. 

I cherish a culture who cares for and nurture animals and our environment and where abuse is treated accordingly. 

Lastly, I cherish a culture where people embrace the concept of free speech, but understand that carries with it a personal responsibility. 

That paints a picture of the culture I cherish, but sadly, it's one that is slipping from our grasp. 

The Power of a Positive Attitude

I spend a reasonable amount of time on social media and one of the things that strikes me is, how negative and angry some people are. 

In following some of these people, I've noticed that over time, their level of negativity increases and their ability to see the positives, in any given situation (or in life in general) is diminishing. As a firm believer in attitude is everything, I will always endeavour to focus the debate on the side of balance. Understand the negatives, but leverage and build on the positives, is a good policy. I will admit to some interesting exchanges. At times, I've been forced to wish some people well and say goodbye. Their negativity was starting to negatively impact me. 

In my early career, I had the very good fortune to work for an American company, whose foundation was built on a positive mental attitude. I had exposure to many highly motivated and successful people. It made a lasting impression and enhanced brilliantly the core values that I learnt from my parents. 

Now I'm not suggesting I'm Miss Jolly everyday. I'm not. But I recognise my own signs, I warn others that I'm in a down mood, then I try to bring myself out of the gloom. It usually works. There are exceptions. 

If the whole environment in which you work is black and repressive, no matter what you do, you will be pulled down with it. At that point, get out and run as fast as you can. I learnt to my own detriment that to battle against the tide of negativity, only leads to your own self destruction. It took me months to recover after I got out of a 'black' environment. It took months of working on myself to rebuild my confidence, get my health back and to learn to refocus on the positives. I'm back from the brink, I will never make the same mistake again, and now I really enjoy helping others to avoid the same pitfalls. 

I will tell you a funny true story about motivation. I awoke one Monday morning with a feeling of impending doom. The previous week had been stressful and I simply wasn't looking forward to another week of more of the same. I literally had to drag myself out of bed. I did the necessary and headed for the train, the dark weight ever increasing as I walked. 

The train arrived, I found a seat and sat down. And, as I was sitting there thinking about the week ahead trying to gee myself up, I remembered a little song the sales trainees were taught. It went:

I feel happy, happy and terrific,

Happy and terrific that's the way I feel, 

Happy as a million dollar bill. 

Repeat, repeat. 

I started to sing the song in my head. I could feel the darkness lifting and I could feel there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I smiled to myself. I arrived at my destination, got off the train and was walking down to my office. I noticed people were smiling at me. Most unusual for a Monday morning in the 'big city'. I smiled back and then the penny dropped. I was singing the ditty out loud! All I could do was laugh at myself. I arrived at my office, told the story much to the mirth of my team. But the important thing was, my mood change and in fact we had a terrific week. My attitude had a lot to do with it. 

I sing that little song frequently. It never fails and I always remember when I sang out loud on the streets in Nth Sydney.   

We have so much to be thankful for. We have freedom, we live in a beautiful country we are surrounded by stunning landscapes and we have music to stir our souls. Our opportunities to be successful, happy and fulfilled are endless. But if we wake each morning with the wrong attitude, we fail to recognise the opportunities and we just bring everyone around us down. As an aside, I really worry for the children who are raised in negative environments. It has nothing to do with wealth, but it has everything to do with what we hear and what we see, particularly during our formative years. In closing, I'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes. 

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative."

~ W. Clement Stone 

Thought for the Day - Attitude