I had a fabulous Christmas Day. When I tell you I spent the day on my own, please don’t feel sad for me because it’s what I wanted and it’s what I needed.
I started off with Christmas Eve watching carols from Melbourne. Something Richard and I always did. I could see Richard sitting in his chair singing along to his favourite carols. He was very much a traditionalist.
Christmas morning, early coffee then pressies. Light breakfast with my favourite carols playing; carols were always a must. Favourite foods and bubbles. Lots of phones calls and messages to exchange with those dear to my heart. It was so nice.
I looked through photos. Lots of Christmas photos and a time to remember so many who are no longer with me; happy memories. Because of one I found I went on a search for an old friend who I hadn’t been in touch with for well over 25-years. The best part, I found her. Annette and I chatted for ages and it was as though those years just never existed. It made my day and we won’t lose touch ever again even better.
When I turned the light out last night, I noticed my garden light was flashing colours. And, whilst many will scoff I understood why the Ladybird appeared two days ago (that’s another story). It was a message to tell me what I was planning to do was right and to follow my heart.
Today I’m watching the Boxing Day test from Melbourne; another tradition of Richard’s and mine. That included anyone one else who was spending Christmas with us.
When I told my family I wanted to spend Christmas on my own, I felt guilty. But, I knew it was something I needed to do. I’m so glad I did and I thank my family and friends who respected that.
We have to face our ghosts and put them to bed I’ve done that. Christmas should be a happy time but it hasn’t been a happy time for me in recent years. In fact, I became resentful of others and that isn’t me. What hit home was reading posts from people who 10-20 years after losing their husband or wives said they couldn’t celebrate Christmas. I think that is incredibly sad and I can’t live that way..
Every ending, defines a new beginning if we are prepared to accept it. Embracing challenges makes life interesting but overcoming them makes life meaningful. We cannot start the next chapter of our lives if we don’t deal with the ghosts of the last ones.
I had a wonderful day and I feel I have lifted a huge weight. I’m now looking forward to 2019.
Happy New Year
